Feelings of the heart.
Days are going and I still not feeling ready to stand up again.
It seems that the last events affected me more than what I have expected them to do.
2009 was this for me:
The accident of my uncle that left him half blinded.
The sickness of my grand father who is now unable to do anything alone.
My trip to France that turned to be a total disaster for my career.
The death of some of my relatives.
It was also: discovering the real face of my “best” friends.
It was: learning to live alone and to do every single thing by myself.
It was: discovering my limits, my capacities, my weaknesses, my wishes, the only person on this planet really loving me and caring for me.
It was also realizing that we can’t get from life all what except.
It was knowing that the decisions aren’t always mines, but when they are I have to take them and go to the end of my choices.
The first love is a total fake in our existence. It’s like a covered sky. You never know what is waiting for you on its other side but that you continue flying above it till you see with your own eyes that the best thing to do is to go back from where you have come.
Unfortunately, flog is always so heavy that covers the brightened way you draw with your feelings at the beginning of the battle.
2009 was also:
The intermediate certificate of Spanish.
My success at college.
My meeting with the great Indian lady who received me in Paris.
Getting closer to my mother.
Changing my hair cut.. HEHEHE. I don’t know if it counts.
Everything in life comes and goes. Happiness exists as long as you live it. What you can’t bring to yourself, no one will bring it to you.
No matter how successful is your life, there is always a fail somewhere which isn’t made to destroy your career but to remind you that you have always to work harder.
Love has no rules, be sure that as much as you love and care for someone, there is for sure someone else somewhere in this world who truly loves you and deserves your feelings.
Experiences are quit hard to forget, sometimes even impossible to erase but time is always here to cure all your pains. The only enigma is how long will it take?
Freedom, following the philosophy, isn’t total. There are always some elements above your powers to stand against you; no matter how hard you try. Destiny is one of them.
If you commit a mistake and you can’t correct it, then just don’t spend your life regretting it.
It has no sense.
I sincerely hope that the coming year will bring more beautiful things to my life and to everyone’s life all over the world.
Thank you for reading.
Showing posts with label my experiences. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my experiences. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Number one..
I believe that there is one universe created by one God who is Allah. It has one moon, one sun and one solar system in which one planet human beings can live on.
We people have one father and one mother; we have one life on this planet. We have one mind, one mouth and one heart all in one body.
True love comes once in a life time. We all love to be the number one.
We also love to succeed from the first attempt.
We all dream and hope and when we fail we learn from the first mistake.
We will all die once and till death knock our doors, we curry on our daily tasks divided into two groups: the ones who dream and the ones who get what the others dream of.
We love billion of people who get inside and out of our lives leaving or taking their marks with them but there is only one who is planted deep in it forever: the first love.
Number one: this number that changed my vision to things around me.
Sometimes it draws a hope and in others it takes my smile. Between the happy and hard moments I remember my first steps, my first words with my dad, my first smile with my shining eyes, my first challenge, my first success, my first best friend that I am back to meet these days, the first beating of my heart, the first deceptions, the first time a teacher slapped me, the first time I cried for someone, the first time I had a tea talk, and first times are too numerous.
I don’t know what will tomorrow bring for me, I don’t know if I will be doing something new for the first time but I am quit convinced that each smile is made with our efforts, and new things come within work and beliefs.
We people have one father and one mother; we have one life on this planet. We have one mind, one mouth and one heart all in one body.
True love comes once in a life time. We all love to be the number one.
We also love to succeed from the first attempt.
We all dream and hope and when we fail we learn from the first mistake.
We will all die once and till death knock our doors, we curry on our daily tasks divided into two groups: the ones who dream and the ones who get what the others dream of.
We love billion of people who get inside and out of our lives leaving or taking their marks with them but there is only one who is planted deep in it forever: the first love.
Number one: this number that changed my vision to things around me.
Sometimes it draws a hope and in others it takes my smile. Between the happy and hard moments I remember my first steps, my first words with my dad, my first smile with my shining eyes, my first challenge, my first success, my first best friend that I am back to meet these days, the first beating of my heart, the first deceptions, the first time a teacher slapped me, the first time I cried for someone, the first time I had a tea talk, and first times are too numerous.
I don’t know what will tomorrow bring for me, I don’t know if I will be doing something new for the first time but I am quit convinced that each smile is made with our efforts, and new things come within work and beliefs.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
How much do you love me? (4)
Some roses, a piece of cake … mom put your Hayek and let’s go to ask
For the hand of the girl that never goes out from her house.
The door opened, her mom was there waiting with a large smile.
She is finally going to have a peaceful life after accepting to give the hand of her daughter because as Arabs say: worries about girls are till death.
She kept the windows opened so that the neighbors know that her daughter is putting the ring today.
In the living room, the father is waiting there. Tables full of all sort of sweets are put.
They all sit together and start the courtesy that doesn’t come from the heart.
The same meaningless questions are being asked and many elements are added to the answer.
It is obvious she had to do that to put all the chances from her daughter’s side.
Does she wear a scarf?
Yea of course, an extremist one and she never go out without me.
Does she cook?
Of course and I taught her everything about all the traditional meals of our country.
My daughter, with thanks to God, has every finger with a different activity that she can do perfectly.
Can we see her?
Of course, Daughter come and bring the coffee.
In an elegant house dress, walking slowly and carefully looking at the floor and using an excess of make up to maker her cheeks red, she enters and propose the coffee to all of them.
Her mom with an ironic voice tells her: don’t be that shy! They are your new family starting by now, while his mother will just make a quick perfect scan from the face to the feet.
She finishes with a common sentence: God bless you! I was feeling confident about my choice.
Remember well this sentence because some weeks after the weeding, she will just start to take her from her long beautiful hair for silly reasons such as cleaning, putting the table, watching tv, or not washing the clothes till the end of the week.
In her mind: he has money, no matter how old, what profession he has, or what are his plans for the future, I will marry him, so that everyone knows that I am nice and superb and they are asking for my hand. And… as my mom says: a man is a man, nothing can affect him, but for us “girls” at a certain age, it is just too late to think of it.
In his mind: I dated a lot, from girls I am just fed up. She is young and good cook, she didn’t go to college. This is just too good, as Arabs say: the cat still have closed eyes.
The main discussion starts and both have to fix what they want.
Her mother: a house for my daughter alone.
His mother: she doesn’t work and stays home, money doesn’t matter as long as she will be a good house wife and a perfect mother.
Shaking the hands is the next step after reading “the Fatiha” to make of them religiously: wife and husband.
The phone numbers are exchanged to know days, weeks, or months before getting married, who is this person that we by hazard decided to build our life with
And that’s how they getting married…….
Finally, I wouldn’t tire myself looking for a reason to make the Arabs stop asking just for the hand and start to ask for the body as a whole with the mind, the fingers and the soul.
For the hand of the girl that never goes out from her house.
The door opened, her mom was there waiting with a large smile.
She is finally going to have a peaceful life after accepting to give the hand of her daughter because as Arabs say: worries about girls are till death.
She kept the windows opened so that the neighbors know that her daughter is putting the ring today.
In the living room, the father is waiting there. Tables full of all sort of sweets are put.
They all sit together and start the courtesy that doesn’t come from the heart.
The same meaningless questions are being asked and many elements are added to the answer.
It is obvious she had to do that to put all the chances from her daughter’s side.
Does she wear a scarf?
Yea of course, an extremist one and she never go out without me.
Does she cook?
Of course and I taught her everything about all the traditional meals of our country.
My daughter, with thanks to God, has every finger with a different activity that she can do perfectly.
Can we see her?
Of course, Daughter come and bring the coffee.
In an elegant house dress, walking slowly and carefully looking at the floor and using an excess of make up to maker her cheeks red, she enters and propose the coffee to all of them.
Her mom with an ironic voice tells her: don’t be that shy! They are your new family starting by now, while his mother will just make a quick perfect scan from the face to the feet.
She finishes with a common sentence: God bless you! I was feeling confident about my choice.
Remember well this sentence because some weeks after the weeding, she will just start to take her from her long beautiful hair for silly reasons such as cleaning, putting the table, watching tv, or not washing the clothes till the end of the week.
In her mind: he has money, no matter how old, what profession he has, or what are his plans for the future, I will marry him, so that everyone knows that I am nice and superb and they are asking for my hand. And… as my mom says: a man is a man, nothing can affect him, but for us “girls” at a certain age, it is just too late to think of it.
In his mind: I dated a lot, from girls I am just fed up. She is young and good cook, she didn’t go to college. This is just too good, as Arabs say: the cat still have closed eyes.
The main discussion starts and both have to fix what they want.
Her mother: a house for my daughter alone.
His mother: she doesn’t work and stays home, money doesn’t matter as long as she will be a good house wife and a perfect mother.
Shaking the hands is the next step after reading “the Fatiha” to make of them religiously: wife and husband.
The phone numbers are exchanged to know days, weeks, or months before getting married, who is this person that we by hazard decided to build our life with
And that’s how they getting married…….
Finally, I wouldn’t tire myself looking for a reason to make the Arabs stop asking just for the hand and start to ask for the body as a whole with the mind, the fingers and the soul.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Apple C...(1)
Midnight, after a long day at his same boring office with the same simple faces, he is back home.
A cup of coffee, a cigarette, he puts the power, windows is charging.
Three w I want to meet what I couldn’t find in my office, my city, in the metro, in restaurants, with friends, in every single peace of land I went to. com
His cup of coffee obliges him to sit in front of his desk…
Midnight, she enters her room. The day was long. She had to run everywhere for business and house stuffs.
She takes her laptop to her bed; she is having a cup of hot chocolate or an ice cream.
Three w I want to meet what I couldn’t find in my office, my city, in the metro, in parties when I go with friends, in every single peace of land I went to. com
Tick tack, tick tack………… seconds, minutes, hours, days and weeks the same life and the same evenings in both sides.
Midnight, three w you got a message from what you are looking for.
Do you want to open this window: Yes? or No?
So let us try. The same questions: hello, how are you?, how old?, where from?, what do you do in life?
It takes both of them again to Taylor’s time, but these are the formalities to enter this protected castle.
Tick tack, tick tack……, minutes, hours, days and weeks, life isn’t the same but windows is.
Is it midnight? He asks his friends while sitting all in a restaurant.
I should go. I have an important thing to do.
Analyzing, thinking, remembering an image, a voice, typed words, an e-person.
His final decision is to buy a ticket.
Airport of Ataturk, midnight, the same time, the same people, but windows today won’t be chagrining.
The e_love has become true…
Few days ago, I was watching tv while taking my breakfast. There was a program on a gulf cannel in which people call to give their opinion about marriage through the net.
I was quit surprised to hear that most of them were refusing categorically this idea but admit that they all enter chat clubs.
Day by day, my preferences go more for foreigners and I think that I don’t admire them only for their honesty, sincerity, true friendship, care and help but also for their pure hearts who treat a human being as a noble creature even if he is at the other part of the universe.
Ernesto, Horia, Souad, Mohamed, Ossama, Brian and many others are friends of mine in real life.
They all got one common point: they met their partner through the net.
They are all married today.
They are all happy.
They all assure that if they go back in time, they would choose the same person.
Technology has made of this world a small peace of land. Today there is no place that you can’t reach in 24H
So an E_meeting, a coffee shop one, or a traditional one are all meetings as long as you will finish by fixing some feelings toward the situation anyhow.
In the second part of this article, I’ll be giving the arab version concerning this subject.
For now, with the smile that comes to me remembering my friends, I wish them and wish to all people who truly believe in their causes just like them all the happiness on this planet.
Because life is short, love is precious and hard to find but ways are available, I sincerely hope that each one of us doesn’t loose all his chances to be happy for stubborn ideas.
A cup of coffee, a cigarette, he puts the power, windows is charging.
Three w I want to meet what I couldn’t find in my office, my city, in the metro, in restaurants, with friends, in every single peace of land I went to. com
His cup of coffee obliges him to sit in front of his desk…
Midnight, she enters her room. The day was long. She had to run everywhere for business and house stuffs.
She takes her laptop to her bed; she is having a cup of hot chocolate or an ice cream.
Three w I want to meet what I couldn’t find in my office, my city, in the metro, in parties when I go with friends, in every single peace of land I went to. com
Tick tack, tick tack………… seconds, minutes, hours, days and weeks the same life and the same evenings in both sides.
Midnight, three w you got a message from what you are looking for.
Do you want to open this window: Yes? or No?
So let us try. The same questions: hello, how are you?, how old?, where from?, what do you do in life?
It takes both of them again to Taylor’s time, but these are the formalities to enter this protected castle.
Tick tack, tick tack……, minutes, hours, days and weeks, life isn’t the same but windows is.
Is it midnight? He asks his friends while sitting all in a restaurant.
I should go. I have an important thing to do.
Analyzing, thinking, remembering an image, a voice, typed words, an e-person.
His final decision is to buy a ticket.
Airport of Ataturk, midnight, the same time, the same people, but windows today won’t be chagrining.
The e_love has become true…
Few days ago, I was watching tv while taking my breakfast. There was a program on a gulf cannel in which people call to give their opinion about marriage through the net.
I was quit surprised to hear that most of them were refusing categorically this idea but admit that they all enter chat clubs.
Day by day, my preferences go more for foreigners and I think that I don’t admire them only for their honesty, sincerity, true friendship, care and help but also for their pure hearts who treat a human being as a noble creature even if he is at the other part of the universe.
Ernesto, Horia, Souad, Mohamed, Ossama, Brian and many others are friends of mine in real life.
They all got one common point: they met their partner through the net.
They are all married today.
They are all happy.
They all assure that if they go back in time, they would choose the same person.
Technology has made of this world a small peace of land. Today there is no place that you can’t reach in 24H
So an E_meeting, a coffee shop one, or a traditional one are all meetings as long as you will finish by fixing some feelings toward the situation anyhow.
In the second part of this article, I’ll be giving the arab version concerning this subject.
For now, with the smile that comes to me remembering my friends, I wish them and wish to all people who truly believe in their causes just like them all the happiness on this planet.
Because life is short, love is precious and hard to find but ways are available, I sincerely hope that each one of us doesn’t loose all his chances to be happy for stubborn ideas.
Friday, August 21, 2009
How much do you love me? (3)
You are blond, your eyes are green, blue or grey, you are less than 22 and wear a modern scarf to pretend being what you are not, then no matter how empty is your mind you are the right one.
You have your own villa with a swimming pool; the last car made by a famous company, your mother doesn’t live with you then no matter how ugly, old, and miserable you are.. just take some roses, a peace of cake and go to ask for the hand of your blond..
Love 5 stars. Between lies, egoism, appearance and misunderstanding of the human, personal, social and religious values this image keeps being the façade of all life magazines in engagement in the third world.
Beauty for women and money for men, two ironic ways to choose the partner who is supposed as said” to be ready to share your life with its good and bad”
So let me just imagine that X is the blond lady and Y is the rich man.
Both get married for the previous reasons. After some months, years or centuries.. I let you set the suitable time to imagine that X in a car accident gets burnt.
Y from his side start a new project in which he puts all his capital but unfortunately, it seems that it wasn’t well studied..All the money had gone.
I’d love to take some sugar and coffee as Algerians do when they go to visit someone in his house and in my turn take a taxi as my license driving isn’t back to me and go and see this couple.
First thing I notice, it is the small kid who opens the door. Of course, even if I am not that expressive with children I have to put my hand on his hair, smile and ask him to kiss his aunt (me).
Curiously, he tells me: aunty, mummy is crying in the room, and pappy smokes a lot and shouts all the time.
In such a case, I’d just think of the poor children, victims of an irresponsible decision.
A decision built on virtual reasons that people never think how easy is it to loose them.
Beauty never lasts, money comes and goes so what lasts?
Behavior, challenges, sex, admiration, love?
None of them, actually.
It’s all about conviction and acceptance of the other as a person.
A person who isn’t perfect, perfection is for God.
A person who got a lot to give through her feelings, her mind, her life style, her pure things that build the personality.
I am quit convinced that my blogs aren’t going to change people’s minds in this piece of brown land where I live but I’m sure that what destroys others happiness I will keep writing about it with all the force I got inside of my heart.
Till my fourth post of “how much do you love me?” I wish that you go on your love all the right way..
Thank you for reading.
You have your own villa with a swimming pool; the last car made by a famous company, your mother doesn’t live with you then no matter how ugly, old, and miserable you are.. just take some roses, a peace of cake and go to ask for the hand of your blond..
Love 5 stars. Between lies, egoism, appearance and misunderstanding of the human, personal, social and religious values this image keeps being the façade of all life magazines in engagement in the third world.
Beauty for women and money for men, two ironic ways to choose the partner who is supposed as said” to be ready to share your life with its good and bad”
So let me just imagine that X is the blond lady and Y is the rich man.
Both get married for the previous reasons. After some months, years or centuries.. I let you set the suitable time to imagine that X in a car accident gets burnt.
Y from his side start a new project in which he puts all his capital but unfortunately, it seems that it wasn’t well studied..All the money had gone.
I’d love to take some sugar and coffee as Algerians do when they go to visit someone in his house and in my turn take a taxi as my license driving isn’t back to me and go and see this couple.
First thing I notice, it is the small kid who opens the door. Of course, even if I am not that expressive with children I have to put my hand on his hair, smile and ask him to kiss his aunt (me).
Curiously, he tells me: aunty, mummy is crying in the room, and pappy smokes a lot and shouts all the time.
In such a case, I’d just think of the poor children, victims of an irresponsible decision.
A decision built on virtual reasons that people never think how easy is it to loose them.
Beauty never lasts, money comes and goes so what lasts?
Behavior, challenges, sex, admiration, love?
None of them, actually.
It’s all about conviction and acceptance of the other as a person.
A person who isn’t perfect, perfection is for God.
A person who got a lot to give through her feelings, her mind, her life style, her pure things that build the personality.
I am quit convinced that my blogs aren’t going to change people’s minds in this piece of brown land where I live but I’m sure that what destroys others happiness I will keep writing about it with all the force I got inside of my heart.
Till my fourth post of “how much do you love me?” I wish that you go on your love all the right way..
Thank you for reading.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
How much do you love me? (2)
I am back to spend a couple of hours in front of my laptop.
It’s quit weird that I am not posting since I spent a full a week which gave me many ideas to talk about..
May be the promise of not debating any subject is being respected…
I guess that for the ones who are used to read my articles it will be easy to guess that I watched again a new story concerning the gulf countries in which I was again astonished at the end of the movie..
I have a hug desire to ask the actress playing to main role about her feelings after representing in this last episode the nice, cute, educated, and good girl who “as always” gets married..
In the weeding night, her very simple and uneducated husband accuses her of not being virgin..
Actually, science is not the favorite subject of many people and I don’t know if it’s because exams at that time were so hard that all guys run away from the course..
Anyhow, the same night, he takes her to the hospital where the doctor confirms that she was virgin.
After this event, she refuses to forgive him for destroying the best days of her whole life and asks for divorce.. a great decision according to my point of view because living at two is based on trust and when this one is lost then nor customs, neither kids can make two people live together..
Few months ago, her aunt who deeply loves her asks for her hand for her son.
Her parents ask her to accept and so she does.
Unfortunately, she meets again the same problem.. doubts..
The second husband didn’t want to believe that she was really virgin and kept insisting that her first husband reached the divorce with her because she had a “dirty” past with another man..
Because she was pregnant, she tried to calm the situation and live it as it was even her father wanted her to leave him..
I think that nothing replaces the true love which makes you accept your partner as he is, for the one he is.
After giving birth to her daughter, she divorced for a second time and her hurt heart didn’t allow her to forgive him when he came back asking her to restart from zero as he understood he was wrong.
This story and billion of others are true. In the Arabic society it is really common to meet such a behavior.
For this reason, the certificate of virginity is today obligatory when you get married, something that –for me- destroys the beauty of the engagement at its beginning.
Writing these words there is something that makes me smile because of the mediocrity of these men.
If the same one marries a European one then he won’t ask her to be virgin.
And if he marries an Arabic one and asks him if he is virgin, he won’t appreciate it.
I understood when I came back to Algeria that the third world still needs a lot to change and start to make of the human beings creatures that have to be respected, accepted or simply left without any judgment in limits of no offensive acts toward the humanity.
It’s quit weird that I am not posting since I spent a full a week which gave me many ideas to talk about..
May be the promise of not debating any subject is being respected…
I guess that for the ones who are used to read my articles it will be easy to guess that I watched again a new story concerning the gulf countries in which I was again astonished at the end of the movie..
I have a hug desire to ask the actress playing to main role about her feelings after representing in this last episode the nice, cute, educated, and good girl who “as always” gets married..
In the weeding night, her very simple and uneducated husband accuses her of not being virgin..
Actually, science is not the favorite subject of many people and I don’t know if it’s because exams at that time were so hard that all guys run away from the course..
Anyhow, the same night, he takes her to the hospital where the doctor confirms that she was virgin.
After this event, she refuses to forgive him for destroying the best days of her whole life and asks for divorce.. a great decision according to my point of view because living at two is based on trust and when this one is lost then nor customs, neither kids can make two people live together..
Few months ago, her aunt who deeply loves her asks for her hand for her son.
Her parents ask her to accept and so she does.
Unfortunately, she meets again the same problem.. doubts..
The second husband didn’t want to believe that she was really virgin and kept insisting that her first husband reached the divorce with her because she had a “dirty” past with another man..
Because she was pregnant, she tried to calm the situation and live it as it was even her father wanted her to leave him..
I think that nothing replaces the true love which makes you accept your partner as he is, for the one he is.
After giving birth to her daughter, she divorced for a second time and her hurt heart didn’t allow her to forgive him when he came back asking her to restart from zero as he understood he was wrong.
This story and billion of others are true. In the Arabic society it is really common to meet such a behavior.
For this reason, the certificate of virginity is today obligatory when you get married, something that –for me- destroys the beauty of the engagement at its beginning.
Writing these words there is something that makes me smile because of the mediocrity of these men.
If the same one marries a European one then he won’t ask her to be virgin.
And if he marries an Arabic one and asks him if he is virgin, he won’t appreciate it.
I understood when I came back to Algeria that the third world still needs a lot to change and start to make of the human beings creatures that have to be respected, accepted or simply left without any judgment in limits of no offensive acts toward the humanity.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Feelings of the heart(4)
First of all, I would like to apologize for not writing during all this time.
I judged during the last period that my ideas were enough confused to be kept on a safe side.
My trip to France went from being an exciting experience to a hard one full of doses of adrenaline.
Each second of my day, I remember myself walking in the streets of the south. I was nowhere on that land and I remembered billion of things that in normal cases the critical situation in which I was wouldn’t give me any minute to think of them.
I couldn’t develop any idea for the blog and was so obsessed with one crazy thing that I succeed in doing: making a long trip from the south to the north to reach Paris and be finally in peace.
When I first travelled, I was having many objectives totally different from what my school mates were looking for .
By going to France, I lost from one side my chances to go to Turkey this year. I couldn’t be training in a hotel as I wished, but from another side, I was planning to get this European experience and to think while I am alone of my coming projects. To these thoughts I didn’t hesitate to add some other things that I truly hoped to fix.
In the series of articles published in Spanish “feelings of the heart”, I felt while writing them that my sensitivity reached its top and I could express it in different ways.
Few time after, incredibly I kept a document of word opened for long hours without being able to post a single word in it.
So I don’t know if the absence of my boss today is refreshing my ideas or if getting confused for a long period has given birth to a small spark of creation in my mind.
There for, I am back to talk about marriage in the third world.
As always, I start by telling you a fascinating story of Friday evening that I am used to watch.
The title of the last episode was: “honey days”.
It is a story of a young modern girl living in the golf countries who accepts to marry someone without knowing well the conditions of life with him.
The guy was living in a big house with his parents, for this reason he didn’t buy another one for him and decided to take her to live with his family.
The first day after her weeding, things started to be strange.
His two daughters enter her room without her permission, they also mind when she wears jeans and they even force her to cook and clean daily.
She was also obliged to put her scarf even when she was home, and couldn’t go out without the permission of the family in law even if the husband allows her.
The situation reached its top when they asked her to eat alone in the kitchen sat on the floor, just because the father of her husband prefers to eat with his wife and kids without any stranger.
This smart girl could solve the situation. She went out after asking for the permission of her husband to visit her aunt.
Once back the father of her husband was waiting for her to blame her as she went out.
She explained him that she has already talked to her husband and he accepted. This one , too afraid of his dad, denied.
The father warned her that if she goes out again then he will make his son put an end to this marriage.
With a large smile, she opened the door and left again.
In the third world marriage really makes people afraid. When everything depends on these three letters “Y/E/S”, it comes to be quit hard to pronounce them.
My fairs, just like the fairs of many people are the same: regrets, unhappiness, bad behavior, servitude, an above all “the wrong choice”.
The tradition, the life style, the society and many other things just make people explain everything in many ways that are partly false because they relate them to destiny.
Yes, Destiny. This word that makes everyone’s life goes the way it does with a small remark that people ignore: making the best of us to reach our objectives.
Till I understand this society, my articles will be my unique and daily way to get to know more about the feelings of our hearts.
I judged during the last period that my ideas were enough confused to be kept on a safe side.
My trip to France went from being an exciting experience to a hard one full of doses of adrenaline.
Each second of my day, I remember myself walking in the streets of the south. I was nowhere on that land and I remembered billion of things that in normal cases the critical situation in which I was wouldn’t give me any minute to think of them.
I couldn’t develop any idea for the blog and was so obsessed with one crazy thing that I succeed in doing: making a long trip from the south to the north to reach Paris and be finally in peace.
When I first travelled, I was having many objectives totally different from what my school mates were looking for .
By going to France, I lost from one side my chances to go to Turkey this year. I couldn’t be training in a hotel as I wished, but from another side, I was planning to get this European experience and to think while I am alone of my coming projects. To these thoughts I didn’t hesitate to add some other things that I truly hoped to fix.
In the series of articles published in Spanish “feelings of the heart”, I felt while writing them that my sensitivity reached its top and I could express it in different ways.
Few time after, incredibly I kept a document of word opened for long hours without being able to post a single word in it.
So I don’t know if the absence of my boss today is refreshing my ideas or if getting confused for a long period has given birth to a small spark of creation in my mind.
There for, I am back to talk about marriage in the third world.
As always, I start by telling you a fascinating story of Friday evening that I am used to watch.
The title of the last episode was: “honey days”.
It is a story of a young modern girl living in the golf countries who accepts to marry someone without knowing well the conditions of life with him.
The guy was living in a big house with his parents, for this reason he didn’t buy another one for him and decided to take her to live with his family.
The first day after her weeding, things started to be strange.
His two daughters enter her room without her permission, they also mind when she wears jeans and they even force her to cook and clean daily.
She was also obliged to put her scarf even when she was home, and couldn’t go out without the permission of the family in law even if the husband allows her.
The situation reached its top when they asked her to eat alone in the kitchen sat on the floor, just because the father of her husband prefers to eat with his wife and kids without any stranger.
This smart girl could solve the situation. She went out after asking for the permission of her husband to visit her aunt.
Once back the father of her husband was waiting for her to blame her as she went out.
She explained him that she has already talked to her husband and he accepted. This one , too afraid of his dad, denied.
The father warned her that if she goes out again then he will make his son put an end to this marriage.
With a large smile, she opened the door and left again.
In the third world marriage really makes people afraid. When everything depends on these three letters “Y/E/S”, it comes to be quit hard to pronounce them.
My fairs, just like the fairs of many people are the same: regrets, unhappiness, bad behavior, servitude, an above all “the wrong choice”.
The tradition, the life style, the society and many other things just make people explain everything in many ways that are partly false because they relate them to destiny.
Yes, Destiny. This word that makes everyone’s life goes the way it does with a small remark that people ignore: making the best of us to reach our objectives.
Till I understand this society, my articles will be my unique and daily way to get to know more about the feelings of our hearts.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
A sexual obsession.
From France, I am writing you dearest all, these words to let you know what I do and what I think about whenever I get access to the net.
Actually, I can’t come to it as I used to do but for sure, I won’t stop writing for long periods.
The 12 of July 2009
My Mexican friend: Sonia let me use her computer to be able to check my emails and say “hi” to my friends who were online.
Even thought, I wasn’t having too much time for that, I decided to check the blog of one of my friends because it was being long time since I last read it.
His articles are really interesting and many people follow his writings.
I could remember that few days before leaving, we talked about writing a blog article concerning the last spectacular event that happened to me in Algeria when they robbed me.
As I was the person affected by that, I wrote first about it, and I expected him to write something as well.
My expectation wasn’t wrong. Through his words, he expressed the cultural chock that we lived that day with a gendarme.
For those who didn’t read the article concerning this story, I remind you the protagonist idea:
After loosing my things, in the constabulary, I was waiting with my friend who –to bring me up- put his arm on my shoulder. This innocent act nearly cost us a wonderful new unexpected problem.
I know that my introduction was quit long because the main idea that I want to go to is: the sexual obsession.
With these two words, my friend described the guy who was fighting with us that day.
Of course, with the same words, as an Algerian woman living in the third world (even if I am not in it right now) I describe most of the acts of an important number of Algerian men.
Sex, even if it is not accepted as so, has always been a part of our lives.
It is not a simple desire only, even if this one is an important part of it.
It is not love but it can be a feeling related to it.
It is not a crime, because it is a human need that feels every single person with no distinction.
It is not everything in life, even though most of people think that a successful relationship is based on it.
Between all these ideas, what is sure is that sex is still taboo. I don’t doubt that it is so in all the places in the world as it is considered as a private, intimate thing that we don’t talk about with anyone.
In my hometown, which is an Arabic and Muslim country, this taboo has always been represented by symbols of religion which is totally false because our book “el Koran” talks about it to explain each part of it to people.
The society created for itself elements of complication that explain the coming declination:
1_ The rape.
2_ The problems of adaptation between men and women.
3_The sexual obsession: that explains the behavior of the gendarme that day.
In one of the classes of Spanish, we debated about the sexual education in schools and I was against it.
My point of view was argued by some elements based on the sexual obsession of some educators.
There for, I have always encouraged the sexual education given by doctors and people with high levels of education in this matter to avoid creating a new problem by trying to solve another.
In the Algerian society, the sexual obsession is due to the fact that most people never talk about sex, and never try to understand or to express their feelings, questions, doubts, and desires concerning it.
This is the reason that made most of them think of sex whenever they see any act of tenderness even if it is logically impossible to be accepted as so, just like what happened to me with my friend.
Many friends of mine think that the last course concerning the sexual education succeeded in making of me a mad girl. I don’t think so because that was my character hidden behind my shyness.
Being educated has been the best choice that I have never done, and for sure I’ll continue in this way.
I know that I can’t change the third world and that’s far from being my objective but I’m deeply convinced that I can give to the world many things with my heart, reasons for which I won’t give up.
Actually, I can’t come to it as I used to do but for sure, I won’t stop writing for long periods.
The 12 of July 2009
My Mexican friend: Sonia let me use her computer to be able to check my emails and say “hi” to my friends who were online.
Even thought, I wasn’t having too much time for that, I decided to check the blog of one of my friends because it was being long time since I last read it.
His articles are really interesting and many people follow his writings.
I could remember that few days before leaving, we talked about writing a blog article concerning the last spectacular event that happened to me in Algeria when they robbed me.
As I was the person affected by that, I wrote first about it, and I expected him to write something as well.
My expectation wasn’t wrong. Through his words, he expressed the cultural chock that we lived that day with a gendarme.
For those who didn’t read the article concerning this story, I remind you the protagonist idea:
After loosing my things, in the constabulary, I was waiting with my friend who –to bring me up- put his arm on my shoulder. This innocent act nearly cost us a wonderful new unexpected problem.
I know that my introduction was quit long because the main idea that I want to go to is: the sexual obsession.
With these two words, my friend described the guy who was fighting with us that day.
Of course, with the same words, as an Algerian woman living in the third world (even if I am not in it right now) I describe most of the acts of an important number of Algerian men.
Sex, even if it is not accepted as so, has always been a part of our lives.
It is not a simple desire only, even if this one is an important part of it.
It is not love but it can be a feeling related to it.
It is not a crime, because it is a human need that feels every single person with no distinction.
It is not everything in life, even though most of people think that a successful relationship is based on it.
Between all these ideas, what is sure is that sex is still taboo. I don’t doubt that it is so in all the places in the world as it is considered as a private, intimate thing that we don’t talk about with anyone.
In my hometown, which is an Arabic and Muslim country, this taboo has always been represented by symbols of religion which is totally false because our book “el Koran” talks about it to explain each part of it to people.
The society created for itself elements of complication that explain the coming declination:
1_ The rape.
2_ The problems of adaptation between men and women.
3_The sexual obsession: that explains the behavior of the gendarme that day.
In one of the classes of Spanish, we debated about the sexual education in schools and I was against it.
My point of view was argued by some elements based on the sexual obsession of some educators.
There for, I have always encouraged the sexual education given by doctors and people with high levels of education in this matter to avoid creating a new problem by trying to solve another.
In the Algerian society, the sexual obsession is due to the fact that most people never talk about sex, and never try to understand or to express their feelings, questions, doubts, and desires concerning it.
This is the reason that made most of them think of sex whenever they see any act of tenderness even if it is logically impossible to be accepted as so, just like what happened to me with my friend.
Many friends of mine think that the last course concerning the sexual education succeeded in making of me a mad girl. I don’t think so because that was my character hidden behind my shyness.
Being educated has been the best choice that I have never done, and for sure I’ll continue in this way.
I know that I can’t change the third world and that’s far from being my objective but I’m deeply convinced that I can give to the world many things with my heart, reasons for which I won’t give up.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Qué opinas?
Este texto lo escribo en la sala de recepción del hotel en el que paso mi último día en el sur de Francia.
Hoy me voy a Paris.
Aquí entre montañas, árboles, y poca gente que es la misma cada día, no me ocurre mucho sobre los temas de actualidad.
Pensando en esto, me acuerdo de algo que puede representar una parte más o menos importante en el mundo musulmán.
La educación sexual.
Para empezar, quiero contaros cómo llegué a este tema.
Todo empezó pocos meses antes de mi viaje, durante un debate en mi clase de español, la profesora me pidió que diera mi opinión a favor u en contra a la educación sexual en las escuelas.
Mi respuesta que era muy bien estudiada decía: no a eso en las escuelas.
En este momento, mucha gente pensó que estaba opinando con el pensamiento de una persona cerrada, algo que era totalmente falso.
Aquí en Europa, o por lo menos de lo que conozco de Francia y de los pocos amigos Españoles que conozco, la gente educa desde una edad muy joven a sus niños en lo que se refiere a esto.
El conocimiento se divide en muchos aspectos, de lo biológico a lo psicológico.
Todo esto necesita unos educadores que saben lo que están haciendo para poder transmitir la información de la manera adecuada.
En mi país, no existen cursos de educación sexual en las escuelas y por lo poco que reciben los alumnos, no tengo la confianza total de que esto sea importante, claro, justo y sobre todo benéfico.
Los profesores no tienen los requisitos para poder argumentar de una forma objetiva sobre cada punto de la educación.
Desde mi punto de vista, los más calificados son los médicos y psicólogos y esta razón justifica mi rechazo de poner clases de sexo en las escuelas.
Diciéndolo de otra forma, lo mejor seria dar las clases en centros especializados en esto, con gente que sabe lo que esta diciendo, y además de esto que lo dice sin vergüenza o complejos.
No dudo de que hablar del sexo sea muy benéfico para evitar que pase lo que pasa ahora en mi mundo.
El tema es tabú en mi país, la gente que habla de esto esta siempre mal vista por un lado.
Por el otro lado, el sexo se devuelve como una obsesión para la gente, porque no lo entiende.
Argumentar esto lo hago contándoos lo que me pasó con un amigo Español que fue conmigo a la gendarmería para denunciar un robo.
Este amigo, para compartir mi dolor, puso su mano sobre mi hombro. De este gesto mal interpretado por los complejos, deseos, obsesión, y conocimiento vacio sobre el tema del sexo, casi me encontré en la cárcel con mi amigo.
La falta de educación también puede llevar a todos tipos de delincuencia y crímenes.
Ejemplos de esto son: el violo, el abuso sexual, la pedofilia, la prostitución, … etc.
En la vida todo se aprende y todo se controla. Todo tiene normas cuando queremos ponerlas excepto el conocimiento.
No lo condiciona nada, ni religión, ni nacionalidad, ni edad, tampoco lo condiciona el sexo.
Así que lo más adecuado seria educarnos, y educar nuestro niños y toda la gente que tenemos a nuestro alrededor para poder evitar los malentendidos y poder vivir en un espíritu sano.
Hoy me voy a Paris.
Aquí entre montañas, árboles, y poca gente que es la misma cada día, no me ocurre mucho sobre los temas de actualidad.
Pensando en esto, me acuerdo de algo que puede representar una parte más o menos importante en el mundo musulmán.
La educación sexual.
Para empezar, quiero contaros cómo llegué a este tema.
Todo empezó pocos meses antes de mi viaje, durante un debate en mi clase de español, la profesora me pidió que diera mi opinión a favor u en contra a la educación sexual en las escuelas.
Mi respuesta que era muy bien estudiada decía: no a eso en las escuelas.
En este momento, mucha gente pensó que estaba opinando con el pensamiento de una persona cerrada, algo que era totalmente falso.
Aquí en Europa, o por lo menos de lo que conozco de Francia y de los pocos amigos Españoles que conozco, la gente educa desde una edad muy joven a sus niños en lo que se refiere a esto.
El conocimiento se divide en muchos aspectos, de lo biológico a lo psicológico.
Todo esto necesita unos educadores que saben lo que están haciendo para poder transmitir la información de la manera adecuada.
En mi país, no existen cursos de educación sexual en las escuelas y por lo poco que reciben los alumnos, no tengo la confianza total de que esto sea importante, claro, justo y sobre todo benéfico.
Los profesores no tienen los requisitos para poder argumentar de una forma objetiva sobre cada punto de la educación.
Desde mi punto de vista, los más calificados son los médicos y psicólogos y esta razón justifica mi rechazo de poner clases de sexo en las escuelas.
Diciéndolo de otra forma, lo mejor seria dar las clases en centros especializados en esto, con gente que sabe lo que esta diciendo, y además de esto que lo dice sin vergüenza o complejos.
No dudo de que hablar del sexo sea muy benéfico para evitar que pase lo que pasa ahora en mi mundo.
El tema es tabú en mi país, la gente que habla de esto esta siempre mal vista por un lado.
Por el otro lado, el sexo se devuelve como una obsesión para la gente, porque no lo entiende.
Argumentar esto lo hago contándoos lo que me pasó con un amigo Español que fue conmigo a la gendarmería para denunciar un robo.
Este amigo, para compartir mi dolor, puso su mano sobre mi hombro. De este gesto mal interpretado por los complejos, deseos, obsesión, y conocimiento vacio sobre el tema del sexo, casi me encontré en la cárcel con mi amigo.
La falta de educación también puede llevar a todos tipos de delincuencia y crímenes.
Ejemplos de esto son: el violo, el abuso sexual, la pedofilia, la prostitución, … etc.
En la vida todo se aprende y todo se controla. Todo tiene normas cuando queremos ponerlas excepto el conocimiento.
No lo condiciona nada, ni religión, ni nacionalidad, ni edad, tampoco lo condiciona el sexo.
Así que lo más adecuado seria educarnos, y educar nuestro niños y toda la gente que tenemos a nuestro alrededor para poder evitar los malentendidos y poder vivir en un espíritu sano.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
A human right...
18/06/2009
I have asked for the visa few days ago.
Just like my colleges, I am waiting, but waiting is not something that we do the same way.
If my colleges don’t go, they will for sure be disappointed.
For me, going is a reason to be alone in a deserted place and think.
But staying will allow me to travel to a city that makes me dream since long time.
Before the summer arrived, I thought it was going to be my opportunity this time to be there and finally understand what I called in Spanish “el por qué de las cosas”.
I feel that my blog is going be similar to my friend’s blog where he talks about Algeria.
I am meeting facts that make me want to write about them.
I don’t know what is wrong with this country. I still can’t understand if people were born as stupid as that, only in the place where I live or if they are the same all over the 2 381 741km² of this land.
I don’t want to express my anger in any of my blog articles because it isn’t my main objective when I write.
The last event that happened in my school left me totally astonished.
While I was on my face book, a college asked me if I saw the last published pictures.
The question was quit weird, and after asking for more explanations, I could understand what he was talking about.
A group of students stole a personal computer of some girls who are staying in the school and then they published all the personal pictures –and I really mean the word “personal”- on the net.
Most of people just judged that they deserve it and they are wrong.
Thinking logically about things, everyone is free to do whatever he wants, as long as “in the muslim religion” no one will face God with someone else.
I mean that God will reward and punish everyone alone, so no one can give his opinion about the other.
I am not looking for the reasons that made them take such photos but I can assure that the one publishing them doesn’t know that if we discover him/her, the price will be quit expensive.
As I said in previous articles, the population here doesn’t understand the religion practiced and for sure, no one understands the human rights to keep his life private.
I won’t talk about values or morals concerning this event. In the Algerian society, everyone is free to do whatever he wants. However, respect to others is necessary to curry one sharing this land.
Firstly, I was up set when the school has chosen me to travel, because I was planning for other things.
Today, my opinion is totally different. I really wish to be abroad, at least to give my head holidays from thinking in this third world that I am sticking with.
The problem of Algeria specifically and the Arabian world in general is its judgment.
I am totally convinced that if before any word we pronounce we think twice, things will surely change.
Writing these words made me awfully sorry, because we are trying to reach a point that is extremely far comparing to our capacities.
So before giving any opinion about anyone’s life, lets first see what we are doing.
Understanding, analyzing and above all of these elements, keeping in mind that we are living the century of the humanity in its pure meanings and even in times of our prophet, tolerance was a rule.
Today, I am convinced that the arabo-muslims will never understand their religion and will never be able to reach any kind of spiritual happiness, if they keep acting this way.
For these girls, I wish that a quick solution will be found.
For the ones committing this crime, I wish that legal actions will be taken against them.
And for my society, I got sincerely no wishes. I know that there is no force on the world to change it.
But I am , for sure, convinced that the probability will not find any equation to make me behave, think, or live like it.
Thank you for reading.
I have asked for the visa few days ago.
Just like my colleges, I am waiting, but waiting is not something that we do the same way.
If my colleges don’t go, they will for sure be disappointed.
For me, going is a reason to be alone in a deserted place and think.
But staying will allow me to travel to a city that makes me dream since long time.
Before the summer arrived, I thought it was going to be my opportunity this time to be there and finally understand what I called in Spanish “el por qué de las cosas”.
I feel that my blog is going be similar to my friend’s blog where he talks about Algeria.
I am meeting facts that make me want to write about them.
I don’t know what is wrong with this country. I still can’t understand if people were born as stupid as that, only in the place where I live or if they are the same all over the 2 381 741km² of this land.
I don’t want to express my anger in any of my blog articles because it isn’t my main objective when I write.
The last event that happened in my school left me totally astonished.
While I was on my face book, a college asked me if I saw the last published pictures.
The question was quit weird, and after asking for more explanations, I could understand what he was talking about.
A group of students stole a personal computer of some girls who are staying in the school and then they published all the personal pictures –and I really mean the word “personal”- on the net.
Most of people just judged that they deserve it and they are wrong.
Thinking logically about things, everyone is free to do whatever he wants, as long as “in the muslim religion” no one will face God with someone else.
I mean that God will reward and punish everyone alone, so no one can give his opinion about the other.
I am not looking for the reasons that made them take such photos but I can assure that the one publishing them doesn’t know that if we discover him/her, the price will be quit expensive.
As I said in previous articles, the population here doesn’t understand the religion practiced and for sure, no one understands the human rights to keep his life private.
I won’t talk about values or morals concerning this event. In the Algerian society, everyone is free to do whatever he wants. However, respect to others is necessary to curry one sharing this land.
Firstly, I was up set when the school has chosen me to travel, because I was planning for other things.
Today, my opinion is totally different. I really wish to be abroad, at least to give my head holidays from thinking in this third world that I am sticking with.
The problem of Algeria specifically and the Arabian world in general is its judgment.
I am totally convinced that if before any word we pronounce we think twice, things will surely change.
Writing these words made me awfully sorry, because we are trying to reach a point that is extremely far comparing to our capacities.
So before giving any opinion about anyone’s life, lets first see what we are doing.
Understanding, analyzing and above all of these elements, keeping in mind that we are living the century of the humanity in its pure meanings and even in times of our prophet, tolerance was a rule.
Today, I am convinced that the arabo-muslims will never understand their religion and will never be able to reach any kind of spiritual happiness, if they keep acting this way.
For these girls, I wish that a quick solution will be found.
For the ones committing this crime, I wish that legal actions will be taken against them.
And for my society, I got sincerely no wishes. I know that there is no force on the world to change it.
But I am , for sure, convinced that the probability will not find any equation to make me behave, think, or live like it.
Thank you for reading.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
A traditional weeding..........the last episode..
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during the week of the party, the family of the girl goes to her house to arrange her room and put all her clothes in the right places.finally, about one week after the weeding, the girl comes again to her parents house to spend the night . It's called ZIYARA = visit
before returning to her house, she has to wear a new dress(as in the pic) and to prepare a dinner and take it with her to the family in law.
**********The end**************
I wish that you enjoyed reading my small report of the weeding
Actually it looks really nice but for sure, I'll never get married like that
HEHEHEHE
too big and too tiring
I tell you bye till the next article......
Zahra
A traditional weeding..........the 7th episode..
The last day of the weeding.
the celebration takes place at the man's house in the afternoon where his wife (the bride) wears again all the clothes that she wore before in her parents' house in his house to show them to all his family and his guests
at the end, they exchange gifts: rings or swatches....
and then everyone leaves to his house.
right now, the girl starts a new life with her new family.
A traditional weeding..........the 6th episode..
A traditional food based on syrian bread with sugar and butter served obligatory during the evening of the second day of the weeding in the house of the man to the guests coming with the bride .A traditional weeding..........the 6th episode..
The second day of the weeding, or the day of the white dress.
the
bridegroom comes to take the bride from the house of her parents to his house during the evening and he takes some of her closest family memebers
they all eat in his house. They also dance and listen to music before they bring the big cake and share it all starting by the two lovers.
Of course the mostimportant thing is the rings
hehehehe
you can see them in the last pic in her left hand; symbol of engagement and love.
A traditional weeding..........the 5th episode..
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when the bride finishes wearing all hert clothes, the family of her husband comes to make HENNA on her hands, they bring candels and gifts,clothes, shoes,soaps, chocolates ... and two small pieces of money in gold that they put in her hand with the HENNA as u can see in this last picture.
A traditional weeding..........the 5th episode..
the first day of the weeding, in the house of the girl where she wears too many different clothes during the night...
people listen to music and dance, they take cakes as well and enjoy the nice talks
Monday, September 1, 2008
A traditional weeding..........the 4th episode..
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the Day of the celebration.... as u can see it in the picture down ... some women come to spend the night in order to wake up early and cook
they have to prepare three different kinds of food to serve in the evening to the guests before the bride starts wearing her nice and pretty clothes showing them to all the girls who come to see her at her parents house... We call this day, the day of HENNA
after preparing the meal, the women start to come to the house,and eat in small groups then move from the middle to the house to the top of it, sit there listening to music till the bride comes.
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A traditional weeding..........the 3rd episode..
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D_1: during the evening the women_ the closest ones to the bride go to her house to do what we call HENNA
this brown thing on the hands
they all sit together, take tea, sing and put it on her hands and on the hands of the other single girls in order to be the next ones as they think.
A traditional weeding..........the second episode..
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the food...yea ....the preparation of the cakes....the most important thing to serve the first day of the weeding during the eveninig to the women who come to the party... you give as well some coffee, tea and lemonade with them.
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A traditional weeding..........the first episode..
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At the begining of this summer, I was wondering what could be the special thing that I can do to make of these few days of holidays special ones.
the traditional weeding of the region called M'sila was the event of my summer
11/08/2008: departure ....ahh my God the luggage were more than people in the car
We left at 7h morning and reached the city after 4 hours in the car.
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