Wednesday, April 20, 2011

On the land of others.

I am back to this land to which I have always thought I belong too. I am back to my illusion with an eye full of reality.
I don’t know if this is a new habit that I am gaining but it seems that I never miss visiting the hospital for couple of days during the month of April of each year.
This time, I was in the middle of nowhere, in the land of Malian people who I truly thank for their care and sense of hospitality.

These two nights spent on a bed, alone, far from what people call “home” my feeling was basically stifled by physical pain that I didn’t take long time to realize I was the only one to seriously consider.

April 2011 was quite different from the previous one. I remembered God, I prayed, but I didn’t have a single thought of humans around me. I guess, I just learnt my lessons and understood that only matters how much you care for others, despite their egoism that will absolutely lead them to nothing.

During long years, I thought that I was one of those who could leave their print into people’s hearts.

I thought I was lovable and above all: one of those who deserve to be treated as human beings should be, in such bad and difficult moments.
My mom has always told me that it’s during the hard times that we know our real value into people’s lives.

I don’t deny being really stressed out when I was sick in Bamako. I was really afraid that the ones I thought do care for me, will not.
Fortunately for some hopes and unfortunately for others, I had a kind of deep thought when I started to feel better and my mind regained its ability after taking doubled doses of medicines.

I have the total conviction today that each step with people should be counted in advance in matter of subjects I already bothered you with for so many times in my previous posts: trust, confidence, love…etc.

I am somehow disappointed for not being able to attend the whole sessions of the summit that was the main aim of my trip. I have some feelings of guilt, and sadness especially toward my mom and my boss who I really wanted to make quite prouder about me than what they are.

At the end, April 2011 is one more experience in the agenda of my stories with this incredible land that follows me wherever I go with each endless lessons about values that I sincerely hope some will acquire them someday.
Thank you for reading.