An Algerian relationship

An Algerian relationship.
The idea of writing this article came to my mind when I went for shopping with my mother where I observed some couples walking in the street.
I have celebrated recently my twenty second birthday and I till now, I have never been in a date with any Algerian boy. However, my interests concerning the Algerian way of dating, having a girl friend, or just hooking up are quite high and thirsty.
I do believe that I have a weird way of loving and this difference makes it hard for me to be with someone here in Algeria. My only boy friend was a foreigner and the way of dating him was absolutely different from what I see in the Algerian streets.
I base my choices and decisions on personal convictions that very few Algerians would understand, and the ones who do, are good friends of mine.

I am sure that most of girls don’t share my humble opinion and I don’t blame them for that since I find it hard also to understand how can they date this way?
Algerian dates are based on money; food, and frustration, three miserable reasons that make me stay on the safe side, till I leave this country.
I was walking with my mother today and at a certain time we decided to stop for lunch. It was absolutely impossible to find a restaurant where most of people aren’t couples.
When you date someone, the only place he can take you to, is a fast food (if he is jobless) and a restaurant (if he has some more dinars in his pockets).
I am not against the idea of doing it when it is followed by other kinds of activities that can make you know better the guy/ the girl you are with… When all your dates have the same plan and the same logic, they get quite boring.. I started even to believe that dating for Algerians means feeding a hungry girl.

If it isn’t to restaurants, then to gardens that you are taken. Of course, the Algerian gardens have no relationship with the Victoria towers ones. Actually, its quality isn’t my main worry. I should think more about what the Algerian law calls: affective demonstration in public, which- open well your ears- concerns even taking your girl friend hand.
I bet, José, while reading this article will remember the day we nearly ended up in prison because he put his hand on my shoulder in public. I knew at that time why are all Algerians frustrated with sex.

So in order to avoid this quite embarrassing and terrifying situation with the police, couples prefer to hide and for this, they chose hostels which are established in various small and dirty streets of the capital.
Algeria, more than being a Muslim country, is a closed one because of its traditions and customs.

I met few people who had the opportunity to know what sexual education means. It just explains why most of my friends make me shut up when in a public debate I use the word “sex”.
The sexual frustration of people around me surprises me a lot. It is hard to date someone who doesn’t think of leading to a sexual practice, and that’s what those small hostels are made for.

I do admit that sex is part of any relationship because by definition: a boy friend is a friend who attracts you, and this last one is based on desire.
Most of my friends take big pleasure in calling me:”incompetent lover” because they find it hard to believe that I could date and stay a virgin kisser at the same time.
To rule the world, we really need to make work the strongest parts of the body and sex is just part of the human being weakness.

Money in Algeria brings love. You would be dated if you have a nice car, a credit card and if your swatch is a true one.
Control is an aspect of the Algerian date also. At a certain time of the relationship, you start wondering if what you have is a boy friend or a husband, something that drives me completely mad.
I do believe in the individuality of each human being and his total freedom to act the way he wants without having anyone on his back asking him to stop doing this, to avoid meeting that one, to change the way of clothing or to obey to what doesn’t suit the personal choices that make a human being feel happy in his element.

I still have one more year to spend here in Algeria, I am sure I will learn more and discover more astonishing things that I will share with all of you within my pure analyze but I still doubt that my heart can beat someday inside this high level of insanity, dissatisfaction and lack of trust and understanding where people judge you as they want to.

Thank you.

I have a feeling (2)

After some days of hard work, excitement and over doses of energy, I wake up today completely dead. I am having a very lazy day..I feel sick and can’t concentrate with anything..
I realized that working during the night time doesn’t help to fix the deadline problem. Things might simply get worse because during the day, I felt so sleepy with this body totally emptied from its energy. I have to admit that 1am is not my best time to think intelligently.

Today was also my second day with the Algerian cakes classes. The group is getting larger, the cakes more sophisticated, and my abilities more efficient. Most of my mates are old ladies or married women and the subjects they talk about aren’t of a single interest for me. I just found a new way of being silent.

One of the ladies was talking about her life and her stepmother during the class then asked me if I was married. The only smart answer I could give her is that I believe in one God and I am not ready to have a second one.

I am having two main obsessions these days: finishing my project and getting a master opportunity.
The rest seems like an absolute bullshit. I have never spent such a long period in such a confusing mood. I strongly believe that it was due to some bad steps and wrong decisions that I don’t regret anyway but I simply would love to get rid of their consequences the soonest possible.
The stress of the final project presentation has already started taking part of each second of my day… I could, after breaking up and getting all my mental capacities back, to get to the top of the list in the last results of my university and this performance is a real incommodity.
I feel like if I am living in the middle of a jungle without any efficient arm to defend myself, and this showed up another aspect of my personality that I don’t appreciate that much.
I have always believed that being nice and loving would lead to peace all over the world but since I started hating some people, I noticed that I could get my rights back easily.
Well, it is the best proof that the books of psychology I spent long months reading them were a total fake. Most of the meanings that I attribute to things had to change because I was going on the wrong way.
And on this wrong way, I am followed by people taking part of it by interpreting badly what I say or what I do. It drives me sick because I am a person who doesn’t make others read between the lines. What I have in mind, I am enough brave to share it since life doesn’t represent this saint great, wonderful, irresistible, inspiring, attaching and only reason to exist.
A recent post I shared reminded me the brother I have who I met for less than 10 min.
I was sitting in front of him when his mom asked me to eat some fruits.. I thanked her for that and said that I wasn’t hungry because I ate in my uncle’s house just before coming.
My brother stood up and replied me: you are called flower so you should know how to take a flower from each place you go to.
My post was about boys and I used a metaphor to describe some of them who start seriously to make me fed up with their non sense requests..
In this note I wanted to get rid of the bees around me, and this egoist, selfish, dirty, and inhuman comment reminds me strongly my brother “Bilal”, and makes me smile 
After meeting who were supposed to be my real family, I felt kind of emotionally confused, weak and empty. This emptiness is unbelievable when you are surrounded by billion of people caring for you, but still I really appreciate it because it gives me enough reasons to concentrate on useful and beneficial stuffs.
I have the feeling that something new and completely unpredicted has to happen to me: just like travelling to a weird place, tasting a dirty food, or dressing like an idiot and walk in the streets of Algiers. I need to overcome my limits before the final project presentation and before my energy explode somewhere else.
From Algiers, in this rainy day.I thank all of you for reading.

I have a feeling (1)

The week I spent in the country side was so full of emotions and fun that I am still thinking of till now.
I ate a lot… Well, I mean I tasted so many spicy dishes. I met people I didn’t see for long time.
I wore traditional dresses that I wouldn’t have imagined myself putting.
I lived a nice experience attending the parties there and I honestly felt much better just because I was far away from everything with no work, no people to tire my mind, no laptop to reply emails and no phone.
Their daily life over there is quite hard, full of bullshits that they spend their whole days talking about. I interacted very few times during their conversations. I am generally a silent person and I don’t like to talk that much. I guess they felt somehow uncomfortable because of that.
I had recently lots of surprises that emptied my body from its positive energy. My boy friend left definitely and this had a big effect on me. I feel a big emptiness that I am not able to fill with anything else.
I think, after analyzing the facts and circumstances that my real feeling is disappointment. I am not mad, not sad and not relieved. I am sticking with one word: “why”.
My boy friend wasn’t the biggest deal of my life. He was one of those thousands of people who come and go leaving their print or taking it with them once they change their convictions, something that I hardly understand and absolulty don’t follow.
I am living in a superficial world that has already lost its values. People are looking for the fame, for the material wealth, for the highest positions and their hypocrisy to reach those objectives.
I might seem a total idiot for those who don’t believe in the after death, but since we are all going to leave this world without taking anything from it with us, better to behave correctly and give the best and the sincerest impression that a human being is considered for.

No matter how much I trusted, I appreciated, I felt disappointed, I loved and hated, I am careless about the feeling I have at the end because I am quite convinced: it is temporary and its expiry date will come someday. May be not in today’s life but surely before I completely leave it.