Friday, December 30, 2011

My 2011

2011… was a year and again it wasn’t like any other year.
2011 taught me a lot and made of me a better human being.
It taught me how to defend my rights when they were raped. Then once I realized how precious my freedom was, I gave the double to defend people’s right around me.
2011 broke my loneliness. It offered me a decent job in the best fields ever. It valuated my potential and opened to me the doors to learn more and be a better person.
It also showed me how precious and few are people who truly love. That love doesn’t know geographical frontiers, rules or limits and means to put your loved ones happiness above yours. I deeply thank those who offered me this feeling, dedicated to me from their time and made of me more than an option in their world.
Right! 2011 reminded me at each step I undertook how hard things can be without my dad around but at the same time brightened my days with the presence of an incredible person who made me feel daily happiness, a person who made me smile in the middle of tears. This is how I realized that fathers aren’t just those who bring us to the world but those who support us and love us no matter who we are instead of running away.
This year took from me irreplaceable persons just like my grandfa who passed away and put on my way people for benefit, people who wanted to reach their goals for which I was a method to that, but I don’t regret it anyways, because what didn’t kill me, made me stronger and I am unfortunately for them still alive. I am alive and I know that it wasn’t the end, that many new ones will enter my life for the same reasons and target the same goals but this time I know how to deal with things by being who I am.
2011 involved people who I thought took what was mine not because they wanted it but just because it is part of their realization to acquire what others values. Looking back now, I know that they didn’t take it from me. Simply it wasn’t mine, and if I didn’t fight for it then it wasn’t as important as I thought it was. I learnt that sometimes it is better to let it go… with a smile.
This year gave me challenges and leadership roles in which I gave my best. And ready to double it next year.
In 2011, decisions became mine. I knew that sometimes, should matter only what we think of ourselves. That’s why I had short hair, became too slim then too fat, I ate vegetables, went to important meetings with jeans without giving any consideration to what each one wants to say about my personal choices that don’t affect anyone else except my person.
2011 showed me the difference between ego and self-esteem, strengthened my believes, my conscience and respect but made me understand that it was probably time for me to start to base my happiness on myself, care for it and do for it what will make it do more for others.

Friday, December 23, 2011

I am an activist and I am making it happen

I am one of the 7 billion hopes on earth. A drop in a huge diversity of men, women, children and youth who need us to smile at them, care for, defend, help, assist and simply accept them the way they are.

34 million of those people are living with HIV. If you look at them then look at yourself in the mirror you will notice that they are just like anyone of us; but unfortunately they miss this feeling, the feeling of belonging. They suffer from discrimination in some places. They don’t have access to services in others and feel unsafe because so numerous are those who marginalize them.

… But no worries, we are numerous too, to stand for People living with HIV… for a world of equality and human kind fulfillment.
I am one of those who responded yes to the fight against HIV/Aids. I am an activist and I am making it happen because I believe, I am one of the 7 billion who care for the world around them.

Since I took the step toward the Aids response, I started to feel positive too, not with a virus but with raised arms for this category that lives a daily fight to survive. I started firstly by joining the prevention field among youth where I could get familiar with peer education and proximity work.

Then I felt that those 7000 new infected daily need more efforts from me and in here, I gathered my courage and good willing to start the field work. Together with my peers, we leaded campaigns; we targeted all key populations in each corner of each city that we could have access to. We worked on education and information as well as behavior change, communication, advocacy, resources mobilization, involvement of more stakeholders and support to people living with HIV by defending their rights to have a decent life and by being present for them as much as we can.

In all what I have undertaken and what I gave, I have to entire conviction that I was given much more in return. I have been given determination and more desire to achieve all the goals and to see someday Zero new infections, zero deaths and zero discrimination becoming a reality with all the UNAIDS agencies in holidays and the red Ruben reversed because we would have all together defeated this epidemic.

Today, I strongly believe that being a humanitarian isn’t a service that we do. It is simply a must and a duty that highlight the best of what we have inside of us.
I feel alive and determined to continue and realize more because of those men and women who set to me challenges to achieve that I hope we stand for all together as real agents of change and make of this world of 7 billion people, a world of 7 billion responsible, sensitized activists who grow in an enlightened present and promising future.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The missing part of me

7H30 am. A lazy wake up. I was already late for work, but yet when I opened my eyes, I didn’t feel like going in a rush. I probably wanted to sit with the scenes of my last night dream.

In my dream, I had a brother and my daddy called me to remind me that I had to do something I still didn’t do. I thought for a second that it could be the sweetest thing happening to me in the middle of impurity and constant maliciousness that you can hardly prevent. Feeling the presence of someone I could truly love but more important: who would truly love me for who I am and place my happiness and good being before his ego.

I have grown differently from others. I have grown with my own vision about the world around me. I have done it with my own values, values that may not be always the right ones or the best, but values that I follow, no matter what the situation is. Probably because somehow it matters more to get the best of the smiles that our conscience make us draw on people’s faces.

I have grown weakly strong, and I knew how to balance it between the innocent smile and the determined look. Yeah! I am one of those who have to see a start in each step and to analyze, think, structure, act then assume bravely.... I have to do that alone because someday, someone who I wished could stay beside me, left and left forever.
At some extend, this is the best of all loses that I could actually imagine. Many people try to convince me that I will just move on and a better feeling will knock ma door. Honestly, it is not ma first concern as I like to remind myself about it whenever I feel like crying something superficial or stupid that happens to me.

Today, I realize that there is a missing part of me, a part that had gone, a part that I can’t replace but just deal with. However, in this deal I learnt how to reflect it positively in my relations with others and yes! I do not matter as long as those who are around will remember me with the best of the thoughts.