Saturday, February 28, 2009

A banal day

7 :20am
In the road from my house to my school, there was no other noise, except the one of my brown shoes.
I met again the same faces.
The first neighbor waiting for his kids in his car
The second one in her balcony, already started cleaning.
The other one next to her door with her small daughter was waiting for someone to pass and take her to school.

As always, they commented about me J I realized it when I heard the small girly saying:”… brown trousers…”. I looked at my legs, oh yea. I recognized myself.
Inside all this routine, I wondered if these people are having the same banal life like me.
I wondered if because we meet daily in the same situation, this simply means that nothing new is happening in our lives.
And I wonder, if may be not meeting them once; would mean that something has changed that day

I may confuse myself and confuse all of you with such a complicated analysis.
Because looking back to my list of challenges, I know that the decision is always mine, when it comes to change things.

I know that improvement starts inside us. Even if we don’t do anything special, may be having a different feeling can be enough to change the whole of the day.

I know also that the world is called world because it too big, so are the experiences in it.
I know that listening to Bryan Adams singing: I’ll always be right there; alone in my room, doesn’t specially mean I’m having nothing to live for.

It simply means I’m having time to think again before making my evenings busy.
And that’s my main new challenge: Thinking well before doing anything, because if you forgive yourself for some wrong step in life, then the wild world won’t do so.

There for, I am convinced that experience is logic use of mind.

It is the fruit of all learnings.

That's why, I am so confident of my coming challenges.

Because I know, I learnt a lot

Because I know that I can make everything come true,

Because I know what is between my hands, I can deal with it the way I want.

and because I know that after falling down, we always stand up again strongly.

To the ones reading my blog posts, I'd like to tell that in few time, I'll be blogging again telling you how many goal I achieved.

Till that close future,

I'd like to give a special thank to my friend Phil, always present in my thoughts.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Dance with my father...

Back when I was a child

Before life removed all the innocence

My father would lift me high

And dance with my mother and me

and then Spin me around till I fell asleep

Then up the stairs he would carry me

And I knew for sure I was loved

If I could get another chance Another walk,

another dance with him I�d play a song that would never, ever end

How I'd love, love, love to dance with my father again

Ooh, ooh When I and my mother would disagree

To get my way

I would run from her to him He'd make me laugh just to comfort me, yeah, yeah

Then finally make me do just what my mama said

Later that night when I was asleep He left a dollar under my sheet

Never dreamed that he Would be gone from me

If I could steal one final glance

One final step, one final dance with him

I'd play a song that would never, ever end beCause
I'd love, love, love to dance with my father again Sometimes I'd listen outside her door And I'd hear her, mama crying for him

I pray for her even more than me

I pray for her even more than me

I know I'm praying for much too much

But could You send back the only man she loved I know You don't do it usually

But Lord, she's dying to dance with my father again

Every night I fall asleep And this is all I ever dream

Monday, February 23, 2009


6 :30 pm
A freezing weather out, I was just in front of my computer, my courses of menus plans between my hands. On my left, my new book of management that I have just started reading.
Life is too crazy! Everything got a memory!
Even the book I am reading, got one of the most beautiful souvenirs for me.
Nearly 21 years old, I remember right now my memories of childhood

I remember my father! I remember the few memories I had with him
I remember the funniest thing happening to us together

I could imagine my life without me, but I forgot to imagine it without the ones, really not with me.

It’s true, I’d give my all, to spend just one more day with him.
I guess one day would have been enough to take him in my arms, to call him papa as I used to do
To laugh at him calling me: “Zohir, my son, come here!”
Hehehehe, yea. I was somehow his boy.
I think that one day would have been also enough, to go together again for lunch. To take again the same pizza in the same restaurant, to eat ice cream walking in the same street
One more day would have been enough to have a naughty smile, listening to him telling me again: “ papa, Zahra, I want you to be strong, and I want you to be with one boy the whole of your life”
Of course, this doesn’t mean I’ve been with many ones, Hehehehe
I respected these promises more than what he was expecting me to do.
I realized too late that my dad was in my life like a comrade sharing my young brain full of hopes and desires to discover the world.
I realized also that my dad has gone, and sharing things had gone with him. And this is the biggest loose in life.
And I have realized one important thing; I am still the baby of my dad
For these very few great moments, for my love, for yours that I hope was as deep as mine, for our laughs, for my innocent looks, for each small thing that joined us, I thank God for what he gave us
I thank you dad, for giving birth to such a responsible and strong person I am
I thank you for teaching me how to face everything without anyone’s help
My promise to you today- except dating one guy in a life time- is to make you happy with all what I’ll be giving to the world, to my family, to my values.
And because the one who said: “ far from the eyes, far from the heart” was wrong, I again would love to tell you, that no one can replace you, as long as I’ll be looking for that.
No one will take of my love as much as you took
Thanks for being zohir’s- opps I meant Zahra’s father. :D

Saturday, February 21, 2009

A story of a friendship

Ah! cómo hemos cambiado

que lejos ha quedadoaquella amistad.

Asi como el viento lo abandona todo al paso,

asi con el tiempo todo es abandonado;

cada beso que se da,

alguien lo abandonara.

Asi con los años unidos a la distancia,

fué asi como tu y yo perdimos la confianza;

cada paso que se dió, algo mas nos alejó.

Lo mejor que conocimosseparó nuestros destinosque hoy nos vuelven a reunir;

tal vez si tu y yo queremos volveremos a sentir,

aquella vieja entrega.¡Ah! cómo hemos cambiadoque lejos ha quedadoaquella amistad.


qué nos ha pasadocómo hemos olvidadoaquella amistad.

Y asi como siento ahora el hueco que has dejadoquizas llegada la hora,

vuelva a sentirte a mi lado,

tantos sueños por cumplir, alguno se ha de vivir,


Lo mejor que conocimosseparó nuestros destinosque hoy nos vuelven a reunir;

tal vez si tu y yo queremos volveremos a sentir,

aquella vieja entrega.¡Ah! cómo hemos cambiado

que lejos ha quedadoaquella amistad...

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

18th fev, What a day!

3pm exactly in my Swatch, I don't know why looking at it, I remember Swiss people.

May be, because they invented swatches to people who never have time.

I remembered also the previous day.

At that time exactly, I was back home after a lunch badly planned by someone who spent years waiting for me to take it with him.

Actually, the problem was not the fact that I was bored and tired after a long day at college, but because while sitting in front of him and looking at his eyes; I smiled for the wrong reason.

I smiled because my mind was telling me: hey girl! What if you were taking the same lunch with X or Y? would you act same way?

some replies are too obvious that even a blond, would get them.

My last personal message on facebook wasn't a mistake of tapying. Oscar Wilde said in it: "Some people cause happiness wherever they go, and some whenever they go".

It may be just a" feeling"produced by our attachment to people , as explained by scientifics

But somewhere, those who are special, are, wherever they go

Of course, when the heart talks, it is something else. Me, who doesn't have that great practical experience, I still can talk about the practico_theorical one, in which the two opposit sides ( practical, and theory) are equal.

In all of these things, a heart behaves just like the process of the rain. Long time of evaporation of water , well kept to form a wide cloud which will give a heavy rain for long time, but once it stops and you notice that you didn't take any benefit from it...then good luck to meet another cloud

AS much as you try to understand a human being heart, you won't get the exact way that its nerves work with.

But after.all of that..... Still that it is the beauty of the sweetest feelings and the stupidity of the opposit cathegory that make the world go, change, give, teach, help,.. eachone of us.

For those who made me happy , wherever they were, I'd like to say that yesterday, I really wished to be with you.

And for these who make me stop taking the pain killer for my headache whenever they go, I'd also like to say thank you.

Each part of what I lived was a great experience that made of me one of these who are too proud of being meant by the first part of Oscar's famous quotation.

thx for reading.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

My life without me...

Back home after a long tiring day !
I was very sick and could hardly open my eyes to look at my books.
Even though, I tried to do something to make my mind work.
And I remembered something.

The list of challenges I made by end of the year.
When I looked at it, I found that many of them came true, so I got a crazy idea about making another list in which I planned things to do before I die.
Two things seemed too strange for me while writing this list:
The first is that I want to do what few people dream of.
They are generally for money and high class.
The second is that half of them are just too impossible.
I don’t know if it is me who is too pessimistic or if it is the list of my challenges which was to easy to accomplish.
Still that the idea was original, and I got it from a movie called “mi Vida sin mi” (my life without me)
It is a story of a young woman who was having a kind of tiring life, till the day she knows, she is going to die.
She took a paper in the coffee shop, and made a list of “things to do before she dies”
From that moment, she started to live deeply each moment of her life
There for, before dying. I would love to:
Thank god for what he gave me
Graduate from university
Finish my careers of cooking
Get a high level of Spanish
Learn the 5th language
Visit Spain and Turkey
Make a good master
Work in a luxury hotel
Open my own restaurant
Tell people I love how much I love them
Starting by : my mom
And finishing with someone very precious for me to whom I could never express my love: my friend Ayham.
Help the poor ones
And for sure; do my best to make the world remember me with good things

Because life is not that long,
Because I am confident of some challenges
And because we can always find a way to reach the point we want
I know that if I have to imagine my life without me:
I won’t be sad because there would be people loving the hotels management industry more than me
There would be people learning languages and flirting in the Spanish way, just like me!!
There would be others blogging and Phil will keep reading blogs
My mom will understand that life goes on and that all what I have been doing, I did it for her.
Turkey will keep being a touristic country, because it is too beautiful.
My first love will get married and for sure his wife will look like to me in some aspects
In my college, people won’t forget me because I was a person with a heart
Ayham for sure will forget me but I wish that he realize that he had the biggest part of my heart when it comes to share it between people I love.

Well, till that day, I am still alive :)

Monday, February 2, 2009

What a day!

What a day! What a day!
The weather changed thousand of times, I am happy because when I was out, it was sunny
Something funny happened to me today; I was walking to school when two young girls stopped me saying: "aunty aunty, can you help us to cross the street?". I smiled :)
It isn't always that people call me Aunty!!
Yea, I am no longer the baby I have always been.
Time goes and we change with it.

Few meters far, I posted a letter to my friend Teresa, I met again the same neighbour I meet daily. I started to think of my life.
Do I still have the same one, just like my neighbour going and coming?
What did I make the last years?
Do all people living around me have the same daily boring life?
Or do they live in one day, a sigle of doses of adrenaline?

I remembered that my friend Sam was changing his life!
Yea, he was, because he was travelling, getting a new job, meeting new people, for sure eating a different meal, drinking another kind of coffee, calling me from a new phone number
and may be thinking of me differently.

I realized many things.
I realized that this is the changement I wanted to have
I realized that when people are far, we do notice how much we miss them.
I realized that everyday is a new one and it comes for sure with new surprising things
I realized that most of the time you touch someone's heart friendly or he/she touches yours, it is never meant. And this is the beauty of pure things in life.

I also realized that no matter what we would think of our behaviour today, there is always something nice, benefit and strong to give and recieve and that is : THE daily smile.

For today, for the great things that God is giving me, for the nice people I know, for my smile that gives me the force to go over all limits , I am the most proud and happy person

thanks for reading