“ There are people who have their place in our hearts because they decided so, those who got it in our lives because God decided so, for all the rest; there is no place nor in the first, neither in the second because we decided so “
It took me long time, efforts, and probably more than tears, pains, disappointment and lose to finally realize and yet I am not sure I really do understand that it is time for me to move on.
May be I don’t really need to move on, but to set to myself another goal, not specifically in the same field. This would be absolutely impossible but to succeed in something different that would not necessary cure my moral pains but give me some strength to stand up again.
I’ve thought that what hurts in love was to see the one you are dying for, going away.
When my dad left, I was totally convinced that his departure was the hardest feeling that I would never have, but I was wrong. I could dare it.
People do suffer ignorance, and handle hardly the fact of being left for no logical reason, in my case for being good, and there are cases worse than that: Just because simply they do want to start a new life in which we don’t have the right to take part. I think that this would be the worst one followed by making fun, reaching an expiry date in any kind of relationship in the “hearts” of those who we name “men and women” of our lives.
I’ve been trusting a lot but also betrayed so many times, and each time I found a reason to get back to trust again.
However, I have a strong feeling this time that I don’t want to do it anymore. Doubts do fill my thoughts even though I keep being the same one with everyone around me by doing whatever I can for them.
Today, I have hopes, very few right, but existing and the most precious wish I hold inside of me is to see people promising what they can keep, or may be less, and keeping it after that. I guess, it isn’t only a principal of respect toward others but toward oneself first, and this is the most important value making the difference between human beings and creatures pretending to be so.