Monday, December 1, 2008

Jealousy...

Attachment toward people has always been expressed by different manners.
From the most beautiful to the strangest one, we all think that we are trying to keep, preserve, or simply prove to our loved ones, how precious they are.
Talking about this, we sometimes get to use the wrong way to show our attachment
Jealousy is an aspect of it.

In what I will be writing, I would love first to explain that I am treating the subject of Jealousy as a sickness and I am not talking in any case, about the normal jealousy that we can have toward someone to make him/ her feel that we do care about them and won’t let them that easily.
I will also show a deep relationship between jealousy and homosexuality by exposing a real practical case.

First of all; let’s try to know what does Jealousy mean?
In the following paragraphs, I’ll report word by word, some of the most expressive definitions I got:
According to Wikipedia:

Jealousy typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. Jealousy often contains a mixture of emotions such as anger, sadness, and disgust. While jealousy and envy are similar, they differ in that jealousy is about something one has and is afraid of losing, while envy is about something one does not have and either wants to acquire it or prevent another from getting it.


According to Pierre Daco (psychologist) in his famous book: “The prodigious victories of psychology”: jealousy is the fatal wound of a big number of couples.
The “loved “person is monopolized and locked up.

The jealous person can never admit that his/her loved one can dream, act, live freely as he/ she wants doing all these things alone, just for one reason
He/ she (the jealous one) is afraid that he/ she goes and escape.

These two definitions were-for me- very interesting ones, lets analyze them together:
Jealousy is a
1 negative
2 insecure feeling
3 full of fears , envy

From these elements; we can built a diagram for jealousy
It contains, first, the jealous person, then the “prisoner” the one the jealous want to preserve
And then the rival, the one supposed to be the mob one taking the protected prisoner ( can be real or imaginary).

This kind of jealousy comes more to control, bother, annoy, and even make the jealous lose his loved one

Because, for a normal person, it is more than a simple jealousy of protection, it’s a total obsession, and envy to have the loved one as a mediocre object, yes as an object. Because it comes opposite to love which is trust, understanding, human resource, care and share.

The jealousy is lack of trust, wrong interpretation to all what the “loved one” does, an egoist act in which only the jealous opinion is taken into consideration,
What’s more, it’s empty of care and share, because it makes the loved one prisoner and fed up in the worst cases

In one of the studied cases of Pierre Dado, he explains one of the aspect of jealousy by a combination of multi_ psychological sicknesses

It can be due to a weakness, lack of trust for the the person herself, as well as a feeling of inferiority, Desire to possess the attractive rival's qualities
· Disapproval of feelings

I wanted to share you this example remembering a story that happened to a friend of mine, few time ago.
X is married to Y since long time, but she keeps acting with the same strange way:
Whenever she sees him talking to a woman, she gets mad, makes of it a big story, sometimes even has violent actions toward the women.

X explains that he has always explained her that he doesn’t care about any woman, and what surprises him, is that she knows well, this is not his kind of women.
The answer is in the last line: they are not his KIND!!!!

The jealous wife Y, is unconsciously choosing the kind of attractive women for her.
It comes to say that unconsciously she is homosexual and doesn’t know how to express her interest for girls, so she uses jealousy as well as her husband feelings to express hers toward women.

well, that's all for this article... thank you for reading.

I will finish by saying tha jealousy- even though has bad aspects- forms a part of our lives, and feeling it is not a bad thing,
No, oppositely, it can show your care and interest. It can be the proof that you don’t ignore your loved ones.
So the only rule, is to feel it the right way, and not abuse of it,
And also make sure to keep it under:
Control
Trust
And respect to the loved one liberty and feelings.

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