Sunday, May 23, 2010

I have a feeling (1)

The week I spent in the country side was so full of emotions and fun that I am still thinking of till now.
I ate a lot… Well, I mean I tasted so many spicy dishes. I met people I didn’t see for long time.
I wore traditional dresses that I wouldn’t have imagined myself putting.
I lived a nice experience attending the parties there and I honestly felt much better just because I was far away from everything with no work, no people to tire my mind, no laptop to reply emails and no phone.
Their daily life over there is quite hard, full of bullshits that they spend their whole days talking about. I interacted very few times during their conversations. I am generally a silent person and I don’t like to talk that much. I guess they felt somehow uncomfortable because of that.
I had recently lots of surprises that emptied my body from its positive energy. My boy friend left definitely and this had a big effect on me. I feel a big emptiness that I am not able to fill with anything else.
I think, after analyzing the facts and circumstances that my real feeling is disappointment. I am not mad, not sad and not relieved. I am sticking with one word: “why”.
My boy friend wasn’t the biggest deal of my life. He was one of those thousands of people who come and go leaving their print or taking it with them once they change their convictions, something that I hardly understand and absolulty don’t follow.
I am living in a superficial world that has already lost its values. People are looking for the fame, for the material wealth, for the highest positions and their hypocrisy to reach those objectives.
I might seem a total idiot for those who don’t believe in the after death, but since we are all going to leave this world without taking anything from it with us, better to behave correctly and give the best and the sincerest impression that a human being is considered for.

No matter how much I trusted, I appreciated, I felt disappointed, I loved and hated, I am careless about the feeling I have at the end because I am quite convinced: it is temporary and its expiry date will come someday. May be not in today’s life but surely before I completely leave it.

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