Lack of smile

I form part of this world since 22 years.
From them:
19 years spent without my dad, and still going on
18 years without a home, that I probably can change someday if I get enough money
10 months with the memory of a tragic accident, that left such a huge injury inside of my soul.
A year with a broken heart, that I wish God will make justice for it.
6 months jobless, bad luck for Algerian companies, they just don’t know what they miss.
And yet, I am still alive.
I am alive but I am a different one now.
I have the feeling that I am starting 2011 with no good goals in my personal life.
You will wonder if I am a messy girl who couldn’t make some order to set priorities but I assure you: if you just look at my wardrobe, my books shelf or the files on my computer, you will understand that the matter is something else.
2010 was a real year of sacrifices, and yet I am still thinking of doing more.
I feel like a hero with some of them. I feel like a dumb, brainless, dolt hero.
I feel this way because I know I should have regrets but I loved being someone’s hero so much that I can’t help having this feeling of regret.
I know I am a warrior, but I know also that everything has an expiry date and I am just wondering if troubles are going to be stronger than my doses of positive acting and thinking.
Let us give to time the power to decide