Friday, September 3, 2010

On my way to find myself (1)

21 :25
From the window of my room, between the sound of the prayers of Tarawih in the mosque and the ones of my thoughts, I sat like each night in my purple room that is getting more and more colors with the decoration elements that my mom is adding daily. I sat with a song. It seems that I feel quite better, just a little bit but it is still a won battle in the way of the huge war that I lunched against this painful moral injury that turned my life upside down.
All of this doesn’t matter. I know I have to stand up because the world doesn’t stop at my pains.
I know that I have to carry-on living because this is the best and only way to be a winner and make of each one who caused me a drop of pain a real loser.
Recently, I realized that whenever I think that I reached my limits with soreness I discover that there is harder and stronger than what I actually feel.
And whenever I feel that I came to an end, I get so many reasons strongly sustained by my feeling of being a nice person that help me to stand up and do my best for myself firstly, and for my loving ones afterwards.
I am not sure of knowing where I am, how I feel, who do I trust or what I really want or need.
I am in the total indifference and disappointment at my motivation, the few dreams I had and the few people I really used to count on
But anyway,
I sincerely hope that the coming days will bring some happiness to my life and give me some strength to get back to myself who is actually the only one I miss nowadays.

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