Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Diagnostic

9pm on this last day of my next to last series of exams.
I feel like talking but I don’t know what to say. I am so neutral. I am not neutral with my feelings but with my choices.
I started to realize that I have to worry less about what will happen because it will simply happen no matter how hard I try to avoid it.
The last two months were emotionally and physically exhausting for me.
The worries at school, my final project, the diploma, my family, my dad, my past, my present, my lover, the miles between us, my mom, my master, my friends, my hopes, my dreams, my plans, my future and so many other meaningless things made me reach this drop that overflew the vase.
However, I am the most thankful to all the bad steps I went through, to all the deceptions that I faced and to all the ones I will absolutely face in a couple of months, or years.
I know I am far away from the real meaning of maturity but I strongly believe that this year trained me and gave me so many lessons that the hard mind I have is still defeating.

It will never be easy to get over a deception especially when you know you could avoid it.
Today, I am not looking for any miraculous thing to happen to me. I am not looking for friendship, because having mates is much better.
I am not looking for high positions; I feel better being able to see what the lower one is suffering from.
I am living peacefully. I don’t have any idea about tomorrow’s agenda. I am not sure about the relationship statue I have, and I really don’t know the taste of this tea I am drinking daily.
But anyhow, life is like a mathematic exam, the most important isn’t to try to answer the entire question but to get to solve the most important part.
From Algiers, under heavy rains I carry on my work and wish to see you soon

2 comments:

Agha said...

Dear Zahra,
I read your article its very meaning and impressive it’s full of sorrows and create self reliance in the people to live and it really impressed me I like to read your every article you publish. There is good lessons and philosophy in your article/paragraphs for the young generation. I like to know what was the factors that influenced you to write ..........
Eng Agha

zahra said...

Hello there,
thank you for your comment and interest in reading my articles..
I actually, don't have any specific reasons to write for.
I do it because I feel that I spend too much time trying to understand the world, and through that, I judge important, sometimes to make of my thoughts a way to write and express what my mind is thinking about...
Cheers.